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The Most Embarrassing Playlist I Ever Created

When I was 16, I experienced my first real relationship. Even at that young age, I thought I’d found the one and we’d be together forever. Three years later, our plane of love crashed in a fiery blaze of tearful-passive-aggressive glory. Then we thought it was a great idea to move in together. Because, like, we were best friends and nothing would ever change that!

And now for the unimaginable plot twist: We were wrong. So very wrong.

Naturally, I turned to music because it seemed to describe how I was feeling better than I ever could.

I made a playlist. But it wasn’t just any playlist. I listed every song, in order of feeling, that meant something to me during our relationship and the disaster that occurred once we broke up and moved in together. To this day, I don’t think I’ve done anything more emo. The list described everything I felt during those five years of my life. I called it “Memoir” and it turned out to be 106 songs long. Rough is an understatement.

Unfortunately, I must have hit the sort by artist option at some point, because the songs are no longer in order of feelings (even writing that makes me cringe). But in the spirit of organization, I’ve listed them alphabetically.

Some things to remember before continuing:
1. Some of these songs are from when I was 16, so don’t judge too hard.
2. It was my first relationship, it lasted three years and then we lived together right after we broke up. Worst idea ever. Don’t do it.
3. It was a REALLY bad time in my life.
4. I had yet to discover music existed outside of the mainstream radio.
5. If it were still in order of feelings it would move from I’m really happy, to I love you but I’m going to break up with you, to who are you and how did you become such a jerk, to I’m finally going to be strong and over it, to let’s be friends.


Alison Krauss– When You Say Nothing At All

All American Rejects– It Ends Tonight

Aly and AJ– Potential Break Up Song

Annie Lennox– Walking on Broken Glass

Augustana– Boston

Avril Lavigne– When You’re Gone

Beyonce– Listen

Billy Joel– This is My Life

Blink 182– I Guess This is Growing Up

Blue October– Everlasting Friend

Blue October– Into the Ocean

Blue October– Calling You

Blue October– Hate Me

Blue October– Independently Happy (Wow, five Blue October songs, apparently they had a good hold on my feelings…)

Bowling for Soup– When We Die

The Bravery– Time Won’t Let Me Go

The Bravery– Unconditional

Chris Daughtry– Over You

Coldplay– The Scientist

Coldplay– Yellow

Corinne Bailey Rae– Just Like a Star

Corinne Bailey Rae– Till it Happens to You

Counting Crows– I am Ready for Love

The Darkness– I Believe in a Thing Called Love

Death Cab– Soul Meets Body

Death Cab– I’ll Follow You Into the Dark

Dido– Here With Me

Elton John– Your Song

Erika Christensen & Mike Vogel– I Will Crumble

Evanescence– Call Me When You’re Sober

Evanescence– My Immortal

Eve 6– Here’s to the Night

Fergie– Big Girls Don’t Cry

Fischerspooner– Never Win

Fleetwood Mac– Landslide

Foo Fighters– The Pretender

The Fray– Over My Head

The Fray– How to Save a Life

Garth Brooks– Shameless

Gloria Gaynor– I Will Survive

Goo Goo Dolls– Iris

Good Charlotte– Say Anything

Green Day– Time of Your Life (This appeared on the playlist in four separate locations because it meant something different to me each time)

Gwen Stefani– Cool

Hillary Duff– Stranger

Howie Day– Collide

Jack Johnson– Flake

Jack Johnson– Mudfootball

Jagged Edge– Goodbye

Jesse McCartney– Just So You Know

Jet– Look What You’ve Done

John Legend– Ordinary People

John Mayer– My Stupid Mouth

Kelly Clarkson– Never Again (Angry Clarkson!)

Kenny Chesney– There Goes My Life

The Kooks– Naïve

The Last Goodnight– Pictures of You

Lifehouse– You and Me

Lilly Allen– Smile

Linkin Park– Breaking the Habit

Linkin Park– Numb

Lisa Loeb– Stay

Liz Phair– Why Can’t I

Mat Kearney– Breathe In Breathe Out

Melissa Etheridge– I’m the Only One (Earning my lesbian card with this one!)

Michael Buble– Home (This song still makes me feel things. I wanted nothing more than to go “home” to Texas where my mom was living at the time.)

Michael Jackson– You Are Not Alone

Michelle Branch– Are You Happy Now?

Mika– Happy Ending

Mika– My Interpretation

Moulin Rouge– Come What May

My Chemical Romance- Famous Last Words

Nelly Furtado– Try

New Found Glory– My Friends Over You

Nickelback– Far Away (OMGG THIS ONE HURTS ME THE MOST. Judging myself so hard right now)

No Doubt– Don’t Speak

Oasis– Wonderwall

One Republic- Apologize

Pearl Jam– Better Man

Pink– Who Knew

Plain White Ts– Hate, I Really Don’t Like You

The Postal Service– Against All Odds

The Dandy Warhols– Sleep

Relient K– I So Hate Consequences

Relient K– Who I am Hates Who I’ve Been

Relient K-Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet (I specifically remember listening to this one on repeat)

Rihanna– Rehab

Rihanna– Unfaithful

Rise Against– Prayer of the Refugee

Rob Thomas– Ever the Same

Savage Garden– Crash and Burn (oooh, Savage Garden!)

Simple Plan– Shut Up

Skillet- The Older I Get

Snow Patrol– Chasing Cars

Stained– Right Here Waiting

The Strokes– You Only Live Once (#YOLO)

Tonic– If You Could Only See

U2 feat. Mary J Blige– One

U2– All I Want is You

U2– With or Without You

Usher– Burn

The Veronicas– Mouth Shut

Vertical Horizon– Best I’ve Ever Had

Whitney Houston– Didn’t We Almost Have it All

Whitney Houston– I Will Always Love You (This song was included more for the leaving when I still love you part, than the I’ll always be in love with you part.)

30 Seconds to Mars– The Kill

I’m happy to report that contrary to many of these songs, I’m super happy now and have yet to make another playlist about a relationship. Hopefully, if it ever happens again, it will be filled with less embarrassing song selections.


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